Smile Like Broken Glass
by Lt. Commander Richie
Summary: A mission to the Black Forest in Germany goes terribly wrong, and in the end Lavi will have to make a choice that will change his life. "It's just another page in a history book. You shouldn't care so much about ink." Three-shot, LaviLenalee, COMPLETED.
1. Chapter 1

**Smile Like Broken Glass**

Lt. Commander Richie

**Disclaimer: **If I was Hoshino, this would be canon. With that said, I am not Hoshino but I kinda wish I was because her cat sounds really cool. With that said, onwards to fandom!

Chapter 1

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Akuma swarmed through the air, the groan of their guns and the cackle of those evolved enough to speak drowning out any attempt at communication. Rain had begun to fall at some point, and the red and black uniform he wore was soaked through with that and so much blood and mud that in the end the only things that still shone on him were his Rose Cross and the chain across his chest. His headband had been torn away at one point, and a Level Three he had taken on what seemed like an hour before had burned his red scarf to nothing but ashes.

With a yell, Lavi threw himself back into the fray. His hammer swung, and a group of five Level Ones were smashed into the ground. The hammer swung again, and several trees were smashed in the process of utterly destroying a handful of Level Twos. But even though he killed them and smashed them and burned them, they still came. A brilliant flash of light came from the sky, but it wasn't lightning. The blackened corpses of several Level Threes, still sparking with the green energy of one of Lenalee's evolved attacks, crashed to the ground and sent sprays of mud in every direction.

"Gōka Kaijin: Hiban!" The familiar ghostly seals wisped into existence, and the hammer was thrown to the ground in a barrage of flame. The signature snake arched high into the sky, weaving through groups of floating Akuma and utterly destroying them like so many flies. The ground around the Exorcist was quickly hardening from the heat, and the hammer sizzled as the rain hit it.

A sudden scream came from the sky, and Lavi's concentration was broken. He looked, watching with wide eyes as a Level Three barreled into Lenalee's back and sent her flying towards the ground. But in a heartbeat she was safe again, butterflies sprouting from her heels and rings of light forming around them so as to catch her. She was safe… But he wasn't. His one lack in concentration had lent to this new predicament, four Level Threes and seven Level Twos in a circle around him. In a flash Tessai was a more manageable size, and Lavi swung it like a Baseball bat in a wide arc towards the Akuma.

This was supposed to be routine. He and Lenalee, along with a team of four Finders, would go to Germany to find an Innocence supposedly taking the form of a glass coffin. Of course there were dangers, of course there were Akuma. But they were down two Generals and needed more Exorcists; they had to take the chance. But this was so much more than chance, the Finders were all dead and they were fighting for their lives against a force they had never seen for a single Innocence. Lavi's hammer stopped with a force that almost made his shoulders dislocate, a single figure using only one hand to hold the amazingly proportioned hammer at bay.

With a crunch, Tessai sunk a little farther down the figure's arm. In unison the Level Threes began to cackle, a sound so foreboding that the teen Exorcist couldn't help but shiver from anything other than the cold, and the blood, and the rain, and the mud he was so coated in. In a sudden explosion, a chunk was taken out of the face of his Innocence. The hammer was quickly shrunk back down, and Lavi took a fighting stance. His legs were tired, every bit of him was tired, but he had to survive.

"Well, well, well. The little Bookman that couldn't." Once again Lenalee lit up the sky in a display of raw green power, and a row of crosses and bright yellow eyes became visible. The Exorcist froze, his one eye widening as the figure walked out of the shadow of the trees. The man's black suit was impeccable, hardly even wet in fact, and a few small black butterflies flitted around the top hat situated nicely on his head. Quite the stark contrast to the haggard Exorcist's muddy and torn red and black uniform, one epaulette and part of his sleeve missing and burnt spots speckling his once white pants. As if only just noticing that it was raining, the aristocratic-looking man looked up at the sky and held out a hand. "Oh dear." He said, putting on an apologetic face. "It appears the sky is already crying for you."

"I'm not the one that's going to die." How he wished that his strength would live up to his words, but as Lavi settled his boots into the mud and surveyed the damage done to his Innocence, he wasn't too sure if he could fight a Noah on par. Tyki Mikk smiled, but it wasn't the kind sort of smile one would expect from someone with his silhouette. The smile stretched his features to gruesome proportions, his mouth filled with sharp and predatory teeth. His eyes watched a small figure high above them, bouncing from Akuma to Akuma in a deadly midair dance laced with green.

"You're absolutely right." In a split second the manic grin was gone, replaced with one that assured nothing but kindness. "Kill her." Before Lavi could act, a flurry of black and purple butterflies barreled out of the treetops in what seemed like an endless column. The few Akuma left watching lifted off as well, cackling dementedly in a frenzy of bloodlust.

"No!" He yelled, and jumped at the Noah with his hammer swinging. In a split second it was the size of a carriage, and he jumped in the air to swing it down… But suddenly Tyki was no longer there.

"Why are you so angry, Bookman Junior?" There he was, standing on the top of Tessai as though he had been there all along. "It's just another page in a history book. You shouldn't care so much about ink." With a yell, Lavi flung Tyki from his hammer and hit the ground in a roll. It hurt when he finally came to a stop by impacting a tree, but it would have hurt even more if he hadn't jumped out of the way of the punch aimed for his head. The Exorcist jumped away, his hammer miniaturized in his hand.

"Only Bookman can talk about Bookman, and I never told you any of this." The redheaded teen managed a weak smirk, his hammer growing as he held it in a ready stance and watching his opponent carefully. "But since you know so much, I want to know something about the current situation. Why so many high-level Akuma for a single Innocence? Why send a Noah?"

"Why aren't you more worried about your fellow Exorcist?" Lavi's smirk fell from his face, and in the swiftest movement he could muster he swung Tessei above his head and bade the attack symbols appear. As soon as the hammer hit the symbol for Raitei Kaiten, however, the weapon was stopped. The Exorcist's one eye widened, he hadn't even seen the Noah _move_. How was he in front of him? The redhead jumped backwards and took his hammer with him, and summoned his seals again.

"Lenalee can take care of herself!" He yelled, his voice as confident as he could muster as he picked Raitei Kaiten again and slammed the symbol to the muddy ground. "Raitei Kaiten: Tenban!" Electricity crackled through the ground and air, impacting anything and everything in its path. The earth was scorched in patches as the lightning receded, but the Noah was nowhere to be seen.

"The Crystal Coffin Innocence has the ability to heal any injury… Possibly to the point of bringing people back from the dead, without strings attached." Tyki's voice came from behind him, and Lavi spun around and swung his hammer as hard as he could. Once again it impacted the Noah with a solid crunch that nearly pulled the redhead's arms from their sockets, but would go no further. Cracks appeared all along the head of the hammer, but this time it didn't explode. "We are going to destroy it before you can do anything with it." Then, in a cloud of rubble and dust, Tessei's head was turned to so many chunks.

Lavi felt it before he saw it. There was something foreign, something not right with his body. The rain began to fall harder, lit bright green by the more numerous attacks Lenalee was using so high in the sky. The first pieces of broken black butterfly began to flutter gently to the ground, sparking occasionally with green. The rain quickly bore the dust from the hammer's destruction to the ground, revealing something less than pleasant. Tyki stood in front of him, the grin that distorted his features so disgustingly present once again… And thrust through Lavi's chest was the Noah's right hand.

"As you can see, we would kill to get it. To destroy it." The Exorcist coughed twice, blood dripping down his lower lip as he felt something tear inside his chest. "You're in our way, little Bookman that couldn't." Tyki's hand slid from the center of the redhead's chest towards his heart, a most unpleasant sensation that made him cough up more blood and fix the Noah with a glare.

"How do… You know?" A sudden spasm of pain wracked the Junior Bookman's body, and he dropped Tessei's handle and gritted his teeth. Tyki smiled once again, and squeezed his hand once more.

"Road told me. She told all of us." Again he squeezed, and Lavi bit his lip in an effort to keep from yelling out. "How you have a dark little side… A side that doesn't care. Not about anything but history, and especially not about ink on paper."

"What's it… To you?" Again Lavi coughed, and another trickle of blood made its way down his chin to slide down his neck and into the collar of his dirty uniform.

"It concerns me. After all, even we Noah care about some things." Tyki's face turned into a mockingly concerned frown, and he held up his free left hand with one finger pointed towards the sky. A single black and purple Tease unfurled itself from the tip of his gloved finger, flapping its wings several times before sitting perfectly still. "I care about our goals, I care about my family. I care about all my little pets… But in the end, you don't care about anything, now do you?"

"That's not true." The Exorcist's one eye narrowed dangerously, and he balled up a fist and took a swing at the Noah. His fist passed through the older man's head, and a lancing pain hit him so hard that he couldn't help but yell.

"But it is, isn't it?" The happy, misleading smile was back on Tyki's face, and he looked up at the sky. The rain continued to fall, steadily getting harder. "Hmm, finally."

"What do you-" Lavi's one eye widened in shock as he heard a heart-wrenching scream, and a massive explosion rocked the air and made what few birds that hadn't already gone alight into the rain. In a splash of mud and ash, a few Tease still clinging to her clothes and legs, Lenalee hit the ground. "Lenalee!"

"As soon as I've destroyed your Innocence, I will kill her." Once again, the manic grin was back. "And I'll make you watch." With a sudden shove, Lavi was forced to the ground. A sharp rock impacted his back, and when he tried to breathe deep he was wracked with coughing. Blood trickled out of the side of the Exorcist's mouth, but he kept his one eye open if only to make sure that Lenalee was all right. Tyki walked away for just a moment, but was back soon enough. An expensive mud-spattered shoe nudged the teen onto his back, and it made it even harder for the redhead to breathe.

"And once all this is done, we will take the Crystal Coffin and destroy it as well. That's three Innocence gone, and two more Exorcists dead." Above the young Bookman's head, Tyki held a large lump of what was left of the destroyed hammer's head. He used his free hand and reached inside the lump, producing the shining green and silver Innocence that was its power.

"Don't-" Lavi began, but coughed again. Still more blood trickled from his mouth, now beginning to pool on the ground. His chest hurt terribly, and he wanted to grasp at it in pain, but his arms hurt too much and felt like lead. Tyki unceremoniously threw the black lump of hammer over his shoulder, and put on a kind smile as he held the Innocence over its owner's chest.

"Don't what?" He asked calmly, slowly beginning to squeeze on the green and white glow.

"Don't… Don't destroy it." He didn't want it gone. If Tessei was gone, then Lavi was gone. If Lavi was gone… Did that mean that he would have to move on? The fiftieth log, if he survived, wouldn't be allowed to care about the war. He couldn't care about his friends. Not about the Order, or about his friends he had so tentatively made. Not about Lenalee, or Yuu, or Allen…

"Now you know I cant do that." Tyki's grin was manic once more, and if the redheaded Exorcist had been more coherent he would have wondered if the Noah had something wrong with him. The gray-skinned aristocrat began to squeeze harder on the glowing Innocence, and a fine dust fell from his hands. With a sudden crunch like a glass being broken, sharp shards fell from his hands and into the blood and grime-soaked red and black uniform the redhead wore. Then the still smiling Noah reached down and patted the teen on the cheek, turning his head towards the still form of Lenalee. She still had Tease clinging to her, and blood was running from the wounds they were inflicting.

"You… Bastard! Don't you… Don't touch her!" Lavi tried to yell, but the pain in his chest was getting worse. The shards of Innocence were incredibly sharp; they had cut through his uniform and the shirt he wore underneath before piercing skin. Judging by the amount of blood that came out every time he coughed, and how hard it was getting to breathe, that tearing he had felt when Tyki had first thrust his hand into his chest was one of his lungs being punctured. All he could do was watch as the Noah advanced towards Lenalee.

Suddenly, the pain in his chest worsened. It felt like he was being stabbed over and over again with hundreds of knives, the tips piercing flesh and sticking. He couldn't help but yell out, what strength was left in his body going to breathing deep enough to survive. _Wait… Breathing?_ The terrible pain deep in his chest was gone, as was the nagging urge to cough out the blood from his lungs so as to keep from drowning. Tyki had paused for a moment, looking back at the defeated Exorcist, but then continued towards Lenalee.

The trickling sensation on the redhead's chin was a curious one; it almost felt like what blood was left on his face that hadn't been washed away by the rain was being pulled towards his chest. In fact, the puddle of blood that had been next to him at one point was gone as well. There weren't any more dark red spots on his uniform, only mud and rainwater as he lay there soaking.

"Leave her alone!" Lavi yelled out, watching helplessly with his slowly recovering leaden limbs that simply refused to work. Tyki reached down and grabbed Lenalee by the throat, pulling her off the ground out of the hole she had made in the mud. The Tease still clung to her, eating through exposed flesh and making the bleeding on her legs and all across her body even worse.

"An Equipment-type doesn't have to die when their Innocence is destroyed." Tyki called out, making sure that Lavi could hear him. "But she's not just an Equipment-type, is she? I had better be safe and simply kill her outright."

"No! Lenalee! I'll kill you, you sonnuva-" A sudden pain even worse than the one that had been so deep-rooted in his chest struck Lavi all across his upper body, and he rolled onto his side and gripped at his head in an effort to make it stop. The pain seemed to be traveling, too. Like knives or broken glass pulling their way through his system, they made their way slowly from his chest down his arms to his wrists. It must have been a Tease. It burned like something was eating him alive, and finally the redhead yelled out in pain. Tyki paused his work on slowly but surely strangling the life out of the girl suspended by his hand, looking over towards the Junior Bookman with a slight frown.

"I thought I told you to watch?" His frown deepening, the Noah dropped Lenalee to the ground. He raised a hand and snapped his fingers, the Tease still attached to the girl's body halting their attack and flitting gently upwards. "I want your hope to be gone, Bookman Junior." In what seemed like a single step, Tyki stood over the redheaded teen. He swiftly kicked the boy in the stomach, sending him rolling across the muddy ground and over the broken chunks of what had once been Tessei. Lavi's hand alighted on the handle of his destroyed Innocence, and grasped it with what strength he could muster.

"As long as I can fight for my friends, I can have hope." With a heave that made his arms scream as though they were being sliced to ribbons, a pain terrible enough to make the Exorcist gasp out, he pulled himself to his feet. Tyki watched, a small smirk making its way across his features as he waited for the redhead to make a move. Once he had gained a footing, Lavi's legs could hold him up. It was his arms, which felt full of broken glass and knife blades and small chewing mouths that refused to simply work properly.

"As long as you can fight for her, right?" The smirk turned into a kindly smile, before the Noah lunged like a predatory cat. Lavi pulled Tessei's handle up in front of him, surprisingly blocking the blow. He did so again, flipping the handle around and attempting to retaliate. But his arms screamed out in protest, and a sudden lancing pain nearly made the Exorcist drop his only weapon. Tyki laughed, looking up at the dark sky that still poured water by the bucket-full. "I've said it before, and I'll say it again. The sky is already crying for you, so why don't you give it something to grieve for?"

"I'm not someone to grieve for." With a yell, Lavi lunged at the Noah. He swung his weapon with what strength he had left, but the aristocrat didn't even take his eyes off the sky as he blocked with one arm. A painful tremor made its way up the Exorcist's arms, and blood began to run from his wrists down his hands. What wasn't washed away by the rain as quickly as it came dripped steadily to the ground.

"Oh my, that looks painful." Tyki pushed the redhead away and he stumbled back several steps, the aristocrat looking at the dark red splotches on the sleeve of his suit with distaste. Blood began to thoroughly soak the fingerless gloves the Exorcist wore, dripping steadily down to mingle with the mud and the chunks of Tessei's head that littered the ground. "Now stay _put_, little Bookman that couldn't," Tyki began, lunging forward and throwing Lavi bodily into a tree several feet away, "and watch while I kill that other Exorcist."

"Kill me first." The words came unbidden to the Exorcist's mouth as he reaffirmed his grip on Tessei's handle. Blood flowed even more freely from his wrists at the tightened grip, running from his hands in much larger drips and much faster. The Noah paused, blinking his golden eyes at the teen before smiling and turning back towards Lenalee. He looked over his shoulder, and shook his head.

"Making you watch, I think, would be worse than death." With a tip of his hat, Tyki began walking towards the still unconscious female Exorcist. Lavi snarled, and attempted to get to his feet. He stumbled, though, and as he managed to gain footing his head swam from blood loss. He could only watch once again as Tyki picked Lenalee up off the ground by her throat, and one of the girl's small red kitten-heeled shoes fell from her foot and into the mud. One of Lenalee's eyes slowly opened, and her hands twitched slightly as she began to realize what position she was in. Both her eyes shot open, and her sudden scream was turned into a strangled choke as Tyki began to squeeze.

"Lenalee!" Lavi yelled, nearly immediately regretting the action as his vision swam. It wasn't _fair_. The Noah had taken his weapon, destroyed the Innocence inside, but hadn't killed him. Now he was going to slowly strangle Lenalee until she was nothing more than a limp rag doll in the man's hand? The black-haired girl weakly reached for him, kicking at her captor with both feet only to have them pass right through his torso like he wasn't even there. What light in her eyes that the redhead could see through the rain was almost gone, her movements becoming weaker and weaker as Tyki squeezed harder.

Blood still seeped through Lavi's gloves and down his hands, staining the mud and chunks of hammer around him a grisly shade of dark red. Every time he moved, though, it felt as though he was going to fall over. There was no willpower left to power him forward, he was using all he had to keep himself standing upright. When his vision began to become hazy from blood loss, he took a step forward. The sudden lurch made him nearly fall to the ground, and he wove in place as though he was drunk in a valiant attempt to stay upright. He had to. He had to save her.

"Goodbye, Exorcist." With a final squeeze, Lenalee's hand fell to her side and her legs went still. The red anklets hanging around her legs, her Dark Boots, began to slowly crumble away. In their place floated a small green and white glow, and Tyki threw the teen girl's body to the mud and reached down to pick it up. Lavi fell to his knees, Tessei's handle falling next to him. His hands fell to his lap, and blood began to stain his already dirty white pants and the tops of his boots.

She was gone. Dead. Lenalee was gone, and Tyki had killed her. It wasn't _fair_. But of course it wasn't fair, he argued to himself. He shouldn't care anyway. After all, she was ink, and he wasn't allowed to care about ink. If he survived, he would have to simply record her death at the hands of the Noah of Pleasure and move on to the next Log. But in the end, he knew, he couldn't. A tear escaped his green eye, followed by another. She didn't deserve to die. No, she didn't… But he did. He wasn't allowed to care, but he did anyway. He broke the rules, and now he was breaking up inside like so much glass.

A sudden bright flash came from Lavi's wrists, and he shut his eye at the bright light. Tyki looked over from his place in the mud, his expensive shoes now completely coated in the muck. A sensation spread down the redhead's arms like a shiver, and the blood-soaked gloves he wore began to harden and shift. The teen opened his eye and looked at his hands carefully; they were no longer covered in blood and grime but instead were encased in a pair of dark red gloves. His wrists were no longer bleeding as well, but bore identical black crosses on them much like Lenalee had had on her ankles. His arms no longer hurt, but his head still swam quite a bit. Still, Lavi pushed himself to his feet with Tessei's handle in one hand.

The Exorcist's gaze was a blank stony one as he made his way through the mud, and the blood, and the puddles that separated him from the Noah that had killed Lenalee. The gray-skinned man watched in curiosity, his hand going slack around the Innocence he held as the battered teen made his way towards him. Suddenly, the boy stopped and raised his free hand. He didn't point, he didn't make a fist. He simply held it out, and in front of his hand his array of attack symbols appeared like a typewriter's keyboard.

"Hiban." With one finger, the teen tapped the seal for Gōka Kaijin. It flashed red and the other seals disappeared in wisps of smoke that were quickly carried away by the rain. A sudden sparking began in a circle around the redhead's feet, and without warning the gigantic fire snake reared up from the ground around the Exorcist and lunged straight for the aristocratic Noah. The keyboard appeared once again, and this time the seal for Raitei Kaiten was selected. "Tenban." The Exorcist continued, and lightning arched through the sky in an impressive and deadly display.

Tyki jumped out of the way of the Hiban attack, Lenalee's Innocence falling from his hand as he did so. He paused once, but it was just enough time for the Tenban attack to come raining down on him. The Noah didn't expect it to hurt, after all if he didn't want it to it wouldn't. But when the surge of pure electricity hit with a force that made his teeth click together and his hair stand on end, he knew that something was wrong. Once again the teen's keyboard appeared, and this time he used two fingers to drag the Raitei Kaiten symbol to overlap the Gōka Kaijin symbol before pressing the combined seals.

"Komboban." The snake that reared its head from the ground, all twisting fire and crackling electricity that should have scorched the Exorcist summoning it, lunged for the Noah with the speed of the lightning it was partially made of. Tyki threw himself out of the way, skidding through the mud backwards before nimbly coming to a stop without so much as falling over. But he certainly wasn't fine, and the Noah blinked his gold eyes a few times before wiping the small trickle of blood coming from the side of his mouth onto his sleeve.

Lavi turned towards the Noah, walking slowly with Tessei's handle dragging on the ground behind him. As he walked, all his blood and what was once the hammer's head slowly followed, flowing behind him in a dark red soupy mess. The Exorcist suddenly flicked the hammer's handle upwards so that it rested over his shoulder, and the substance trailing along behind him arched up into the air as though it was sentient and attached itself to the handle. It continued to flow in a massive quantity, growing larger and larger, but the Exorcist carrying it never faltered. Finally, both the flow of Innocence and blood and the Exorcist himself stopped.

Tyki straightened his back, pulling off his gloves and putting them in a pocket. He waited patiently for an attack, and it came. The redhead's hammer suddenly shrunk to a manageable size, and he spun it between two fingers by his side. The teen's one visible eye, at one point vacant and hopeless, was now filled with so much anger and hatred that the Noah couldn't help but grin his feral grin. _Finally_, _a fight worth fighting._

With twin yells, the two leapt at each other. Lavi swung first, his hammer growing to double its size as he swung fast and hard towards the Noah. Tyki dodged, before coming up behind the Exorcist in a surprise attack. But Lavi whipped around with his hammer following quickly behind, and in a bone-crunching blow the gray-skinned aristocrat was hurled into a tree. The wood splintered terribly and the tree began to lean, and Tyki pulled himself from the bark. His hat had been lost at some point while he was flying through the air, the rain that fell as hard as ever now quickly soaking the man's hair.

"Did I touch a nerve?" The Noah asked, holding up both hands in a platonic gesture. Tease began to swarm from his palms, but instead of flitting into the sky only to fall back down towards their quarry, they began to compact and warp. Lavi said nothing, only glared as he squared his shoulders and held Tessei out in front of him. The hammer's form began to change, the entirety of the weapon becoming more compact as the handle grew wider and the head more square. As both combatants' weapons finished their changes, they faced each other with renewed strength.

In Tyki's hands, two large purple and white-striped Tease sat. In their centers were grinning skull-like faces, the mouths lined with razor-like teeth. In Lavi's left hand sat a large hammer, its likeness akin to that of Thor's mighty Mjolnir of legend. From the sides sprouted two spikes, and from the top came a halberd spike. The two once again leapt at each other, the teen's keyboard appearing as he moved and selected the Gōka Kaijin symbol once more. His hammer erupted into flames and he gripped it with both hands, the head growing much larger as he swung it down at the Noah. Tyki dodged once more, and one of his snarling and advanced carnivorous Tease darted towards the Exorcist.

Lavi swung at the butterfly, his feet sinking into the mud as he gained purchase. He would destroy the Noah like the Noah destroyed him, like the Noah destroyed Lenalee, like he had almost destroyed Allen. In a shattering sound like broken glass, the Tease broke into two halves. Tyki's gold eyes visibly widened in shock, his raised eyebrows making his crown of crosses disappear into the wavy hair that was coming loose from its ponytail. The Noah almost didn't have time to act, the teen was in front of him in a flash of red and black and a shining Rose Cross and his hammer was once again impacting the side of his head to send him crashing into yet another tree.

"I did hit a nerve, didn't I?" Tyki pulled himself from the trunk of the old Poplar, wincing slightly as he extracted a large splinter from his arm. "Killing her, I mean?" The Noah wiped the blood from his face once more, but it was taking much longer for him to do so. A cut laced its way across his forehead and it was oozing blood almost faster than he could rid himself of it.

"Shut up." Lavi commanded, and moved in to attack once more. He swung at the Noah but missed, instead completely obliterating the tree he had last thrown the man into. Tyki laughed, and the teen spun around to glare.

"You're so sensitive for a Bookman. Was Road wrong about your not being allowed to have feelings?" Tyki smiled his innocent smile, the carnivorous butterfly in his hand gnashing its teeth in anticipation. The redhead curled his lip in distaste, once again gripping his hammer in both hands as he ran forward.

"I said shut up, so just shut up!" At the last moment, Tyki thrust his hand forward in a gathering of purple energy that seemed to be made up of thousands of Tease. The two met in a flash of light before the Noah was thrown backwards, hitting yet another tree. Its teeth still gnashing, the purple and white-striped Tease that had been in his hand flitted towards the Exorcist. The teen angrily swiped at the butterfly, and as it impacted his hammer it shattered into two perfect halves.

"Was it because you loved her?" Lavi froze, his one eye widening at the Noah's words. "I still had my hand around your heart when she hit the ground, it felt like you were going to have a heart attack." Tyki once again picked himself out of the remains of a tree, this time discarding his shredded suit jacket before fixing his cufflinks and cravat. "What a shame. That was a _Maison Couture_, too."

"I have very few friends, and she was one of them. You're going to pay for her life with your own." Lavi's eye narrowed, and he called up his keyboard of symbols once more. With a violent move, the redhead slammed his hand onto the first two symbols and drug it across the entirety of both rows. The Exorcist didn't even name the attack as he swung his hammer, fire lighting on the head and metal spikes protruding from every flat surface. Lightning crashed down from the sky as the storm turned violent, electricity crackling across the surface of the puddles that suddenly seemed quite a bit larger.

Tyki dodged the first swing, but didn't manage to dodge the second. The metal spikes tore into his side with a surprising force, ripping fabric and flesh while charring the gray skin to an ugly black. Again the teen swung and again his hammer impacted the aristocrat, this time taking a chunk out of the Noah's shoulder. With an angry yell, Lavi swung yet again. This time he impacted the Noah straight in the stomach, ripping flesh and fabric even further with his spikes. The storm sent huge bolts of lightning arching across the sky, the water coming down so hard it was almost as though the Exorcist could cause a new flood. Tyki was sent flying into one of the deeper puddles, bleeding from the wounds inflicted that weren't completely cauterized. Then the water was sucking him down, deepening around him and crushing air from his lungs.

"I would say that the sky was crying for you, Noah, and that you should give it something to grieve for, but it's not true. The tears aren't for you!" Lavi leaned heavily on his hammer, his breathing labored. That final attack had taken most of the strength he had left, but that certainly wasn't saying much. His hammer felt heavy in his hands, but the armored gloves he wore were certainly lighter. "Die, Noah." The Exorcist held his hand out at the puddle, now a small but deep pond that was being controlled by his activated Water Seal. His hand clenched, and the water suddenly went still. Not even the rain broke the surface tension, and from Tyki's mouth came one last bubble. But the Noah wasn't gone, certainly not yet. Without a word he sunk into the ground he was being compacted into, and Lavi tensed and put both hands on his hammer. The Noah rose from the mud as clean as could be, clutching his stomach and shoulder with both hands. He looked thoroughly beaten, but he still managed to give the Exorcist a lopsided grin.

"You're ruthless." The gray-skinned man said, coughing twice to rid his windpipe of water. "Maybe if you weren't an Exorcist, you could have been family." With that, the Noah dissolved into a flutter of Tease. Lavi yelled, his keyboard appearing again and Gōka Kaijin was pressed in an instant. The fire snake barreled forward towards the Tease, but they were too numerous to all be burned. With an angry yell, the Exorcist threw his hammer to the ground. Mud splashed around him as he fell to his knees, slamming a fist into the ground.

"No, dammit!" The redhead sat back on his heels, looking up towards the roiling clouds that flashed bright white and still poured water on the ground. "No…" His gloved hands drifted limply to his sides, mud soaking between his fingers. Lavi couldn't tell if he was crying anymore, the rain soaked him so thoroughly that he was surprised he wasn't colder. In a numb state, the teen reached for his hammer. The metal spikes had receded, but it hadn't reverted back to its original form yet and still sat in the mud like a dark red hammer of a god. His fingers wrapped around the cold handle and he drug it towards himself, threading his hand through the strap that had manifested itself at the end.

Spattered with mud and grime and all sorts of other things, the redhead stood. His eye swept the battlefield, and he began the trek through the puddles and scorched places and splintered wood towards Lenalee. The hammer drug behind him, making a rut in the mud that quickly filled with water. He was sorry, so sorry, that this had happened. This was supposed to be _routine_, it was supposed to be _easy_. They didn't know what that coffin could do, they didn't expect Level Threes and a _Noah_, and now she was gone. Lenalee Lee was gone.

The cuts and bites on her legs and torso were dark and imperfect splotches that marred her otherwise perfect form. Without them, without the hand-shaped bruise that encircled her neck completely and the angle her head tilted at, she looked like she was asleep. One of her small red heels was on the ground a little ways away, the other just barely on her foot. Her light blue stockings were stained with mud and dirt and her own blood, and the anklets that had once been a perfect, powerful, _terrifying_ messenger of death to the Akuma that so threatened humankind were now no more than red dust in the mud that surrounded the little glowing orb by her feet.

Without a word, Lavi sunk to his knees by his comrade and picked her up into his arms. Her skin was cold, _so_ cold, like ice and the rainwater that poured down on the two of them. It just wasn't the kind of natural that the Bookman Junior was used to. He was used to blood, to death, he had recorded a thousand wars in his short eighteen years. But he hadn't ever been on the front lines; he had never had to experience a death of a comrade himself. Lenalee was more than a comrade though; she was his friend, an ally, and a confidant. This wasn't natural, natural was her smiling and her laughing because he said something funny, or because Allen was setting a record for the amount of Mitarashi Dango that could be eaten in a single sitting. Natural was Lenalee flying, spinning and twisting through the air in a dance that rained destruction onto her enemies. Natural was her _breathing_, for God's sake, not this.

"I'm sorry..." The redhead breathed, gathering Lenalee's body close to his chest in a tight squeeze. Her blood rubbed off onto his uniform, red smearing across the silver Rose Cross on his chest but refusing to be washed away by the rain. "So sorry." No matter how hard he squeezed, no matter how cold she was, her lips stayed blue and her eyes stayed shut. Lavi closed his one eye and bowed his head, his wet hair sliding down to become a wet red curtain lit occasionally by the lightning.

It was a while before the teen moved. With shaking fingers, the Exorcist finally reached over and picked up Lenalee's Innocence. In its raw form, a small shining green and white light that wavered uncertainly as though it wasn't quite sure what to make of the current predicament, it looked so fragile. It was hard to imagine that this one little light had been the cause of so much pain for the Exorcist in his arms, and a weapon of such amazing destruction. But it was true, as true as the body in his arms that was cold like the death that had taken it. Finally Lavi closed his hand in a fist around the small orb and shifted Lenalee's weight in his arms, cradling her against his chest as he stood. The storm began to calm down, lightning only ever flashing once in a while. The rain didn't let up, though, and it was silently that the Exorcist made his way into the tree cover.

He still had a job to do, and while he despised himself for it he would still do it.

* * *

**Why must I do things such as this? My test audience was totally like "Oh no, that had to hurt. Oh ouch, that couldn't be good... Oh no- OH MY GOD IS HE OKAY?" and so I had to post it. **

**Totally not done. But that's okay! Second chapter is just getting good, if I keep working it should be done by tomorrow and be out by the time I'm about halfway done with the third (possibly final) chapter.**

**And yes, all those lines about the sky crying for a death were totally paraphrased from FullMetal Alchemist. They were stuck in my head when I wrote it and it seemed so Tyki-ish to say!**

**Ja ne until further notice!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Smile Like Broken Glass**

_Lt. Commander Richie_

**Disclaimer: **I profusely apologize for the terrible quality of the chapter, especially the end. But I could not stand to continue it on any longer and therefore torture myself. The third chapter will come around eventually.

* * *

The woodland road through the Black Forest was a heavily overgrown one, but the deep ruts of wagon wheels long-gone-by were still present along with the compacted earth they crisscrossed. Lavi focused all his attention on the road ahead, trying with great vigor to ignore the broken feeling the heart he shouldn't have was screaming about and the cold body in his arms. But it was hard for someone who was heavily-trained in the art of noticing everything at once to focus his attention on one thing and one thing only, and occasionally his one green eye would roam down to the girl in his arms. She looked peaceful save for the holes eaten through her uniform and skin, her eyes closed and her complexion too pale to be healthy.

Lavi stumbled once over a root, his hammer banging against his knee as he continued onwards. This was the road their group had been taking before the Akuma had appeared, slaughtering the Finders and locking both of the Exorcists in battle. A wolf howled somewhere off in the distance, and frogs croaked in the water by the road. Everything smelled clean and fresh, and rainwater still fell from the leaves above. About an hour before the rain had tapered off, but the clouds were still foreboding black and roiling masses that promised more to come. Once again Lavi found himself looking down at the girl in his arms, and he bit his lip before turning his attention elsewhere. His eye alighted on the whitened skull of what appeared to be a bull, horns protruding in a dangerous crown.

The leading Finder had said that the Innocence was only five miles into the dense forest, but the redhead felt as though he had been walking for much longer. Again Lavi stumbled, his hammer hitting his knees again. With a sad look he sat Lenalee down with her back against a tree at the side of the road, and pulled his hammer off his wrist and grew the handle. With his foot the Bookman Junior planted the halberd spike at the top into the ground and then shot into the air. The bird's-eye view of the forest offered no help to the redhead, only revealed miles upon miles of green in every direction. The teen's green eye squinted carefully, scrutinizing the surrounding area in an attempt to find something… Anything, that looked as though it could house a crystal coffin.

"I can't stand Germany." Lavi muttered, just as a gap in the clouds began to form. Bleak sunlight rippled across the canopy in a definitive line as the clouds began to recede, and finally the Exorcist saw what he figured he was looking for. There was a small cliff in the distance, and right below it was the ruins of an old castle. Without a word Tessei's handle shrank back to the ground, depositing the Exorcist back on the road next to Lenalee. A small brown squirrel was investigating her hand with wide eyes, unsure as to whether or not he should move it to get at the acorn it covered. Its eyes locked onto the redhead and his hammer, and it squeaked once before diving into the bushes and then scrambling back up the tree.

Solemnly the Exorcist picked the girl's body back up and took to the sky again. It didn't feel right to be doing this when he should be trying to reach Headquarters, but he had to. In the end, it would be a waste of life. Almost idly Lavi wondered if he could bring himself to do the same to Lenalee as Cross had done to Maria, but quickly shook the thought from his head in anger. It was bad enough that he was still holding onto a hope, stilly carrying her body with him so as to give her a proper burial by the Black Order, but he didn't think he could bear to see her there but not really there.

The Exorcist was silent as he landed on the crumbling walkway up to the decrepit castle, his hammer shrinking quickly down to the manageable size that he hung from his wrist. He picked Lenalee up in both arms once again and kicked the ruin's door open. It creaked slowly open, but it was dry inside and still had the tatters of tapestries and finery on the floor and walls. Lavi walked quickly across the floor of the entryway and kicked the second door open, making his way into a drafty hall. The floor was terribly wet in the hall, due in part to most of the roof being missing. The redhead crossed that hall as well and laid Lenalee down on the one dry table at the head of the room, then continued on to the back wall and ripped down the largest tapestry to drag it over and cover her with it. The colors were faded, but depicted a battle between a giant stag and a wolf.

Giving Lenalee's still form one last long look, Lavi turned on his heel and made his way deeper into the old castle, kicking down doors as he looked for the Innocence. All he came across was musty room after musty room, the carpets faded and threadbare and the wall hangings moth-bitten. Down the next hallway and the next, all the rooms were nothing but empty and nearly bare. After five halls of no more than spiders and mice, the redhead yelled and hit the wall next to him with a fist.

"It has to be here!" He hit the wall again, before turning to the next hallway and beginning anew. The doors that he kicked open were more solid this way, and the rooms had richer furnishings. But every room he opened was empty save for chairs and tables, the occasional bed and dresser gracing every hallway. The last door in the hallway was a heavy oaken door with no signs of rot, though, and the metal bands around it made it seem immovable. There was no handle, either, and rust dusted the edges around the doorjamb. Lavi kicked it once experimentally, and immediately regretted it as his toes smarted. He pulled Tessei off his wrist and it grew to a size just barely manageable in the hallway, and swung it at the door. Dust fell from the cracks in the wood and the iron bands creaked, but it wouldn't move. Again he hit it, leaving a vaguely square impression in the wood, and again it refused to budge. He tried once more, and the door jumped in its place, but didn't do much more.

"There's something important behind here." The redhead mused, Tessei shrinking down to a small size as he sat down and laid it in his lap. He tapped his fingers a few times as he brainstormed what he would need to do, but the tapping led to tapping on Tessei's head, then to picking the hammer up and beginning to inspect it. The entirety of it was a dark, cool red with no sharp edges except for the three spikes on the head. The handle was crosshatched with a pommel and cord on the end, but it wasn't that special. The head had the familiar halberd on top, but the spikes protruding from the sides were a dangerous and useful addition. The head was square, but not to the point of severity, with four bands looping around it. With a thought, it grew to a larger size and then shrunk down to a tiny one.

"I wonder…" Lavi muttered, flexing his free hand. The armor on his glove didn't even click as it slid over itself effortlessly, only the dark sheen from a hole in the roof differentiating every plate from the next. If he could summon the elements with only thoughts now and use them by hand… And if he could drag and drop symbols with his hands… Would it not go to stand that he could move them anywhere?

Suddenly, the elemental symbols swam into being. The mist glowed with an ethereal light as it floated in keyboard formation, looking almost solid in its being. With certainty in his movements, the Exorcist reached forward and put two fingers on the Gōka Kaijin symbol. The other symbols all wisped out of existence, the glowing mist under his fingers growing brighter and turning red. Silently the teen stood, and took the few steps between him and the door.

When the seal hit the wood, it suddenly grew. The red symbol encompassed the entire door, the kanji for fire sitting directly in the center. From the edges of the red symbol a blackening began to spread, the wood burning and occasionally popping as centuries old sap and lacquer began to liquefy. The burning still continued, though, even after the entire door was reduced t a brick of charcoal bound by iron. From the edges of the glowing red symbol white ash began to spread, quickly making the door begin to crumble under its own weight. The seal faded out of existence, evanescing away into nothing with its job done. With a sudden and mighty clatter that made the redhead jump, the great iron bands that had encompassed the strong door hit the stonework ground.

The hall beyond was probably in better repair than the rest of the castle. The roof was intact except for a few holes in the vaulted stone ceiling, and dust coated everything in a layer that hadn't been disturbed for quite a while. Manuscripts bound in leather and gold leaf littered the floor and were occasionally piled in stacks of two or three, and what wasn't on the floor was crammed into the massive bookcases at the end of the room and all around on the other walls. Dry leaves and a few acorns had fallen through the holes in the ceiling from the Black Oak above, and they littered the floor and made the place seem serene. In the center of the room was a table with a black cloth draped over it, several teetering piles of books on top of the cloth to keep it from blowing away.

"Why hide all this?" The junior Bookman mused, walking into the expansive library. The sound of his footsteps echoed several times, and dust fell from the bookcases as he passed them. He paused and looked behind himself at the floor, surprised to see white marble veined with black in the footprints. He continued to look, taking in every detail as he turned around and around in the expansive room. "Why lock the door?" His green eye blinked several times, taking in the shining gold leaf title of every book he could see. His gaze fell on the books stacked on top of the cloth-covered table, and his one green eye narrowed at the odd titles. _'The Battle of Sir Abelerd and the Demons'_ sat in a stack, all three books bearing the same title but different Roman numerals on the bottom of the spine. A seven-book set titled _'On the Weapons of God Upon Earth'_ was balanced carefully next to a single thick book entitled _'Mercy Upon the Outcasts of Heaven'_, all three groups dwarfed by a teetering pile of worn leather binders with no titles whatsoever.

With only the sounds of his footsteps accompanying him, Lavi made his way across the room. His gloved fingers brushed across the leather-bound tops of the taller stacks of books, leaving twin trails of dust across every one. His feet crunched through a few dried leaves and cracked an acorn under the heel of his boot, but still he made no sound. Even as he carefully, so _very _carefully because they were just so old, picked up one of the books from the pile of seven that teetered on the edge of the table, he didn't say a single thing. Silence was golden, after all, gold like the leaf on all of the books he was surrounded by. Opening volume five of _'On the Weapons of God Upon Earth'_ with a steady hand, a slight puff of age-old dust came from the tome. The script inside was beautifully crafted by hand, more than likely having taken many years to completely finish. However, it wasn't the gold leaf or the artistry of the piece that made the redhead's eye widen and his grip nearly go lax enough to drop the priceless piece of history. No, it was that on the third page that he had flipped to, the illustration was hauntingly familiar. It depicted a Jester all in white, a broadsword in his hand and a furry cuff around his neck.

"Impossible." With steady hands, the book was set on the cloth-draped table and the page was flipped. Seven pages later was the depiction of a longbow surrounded by Judgment's white target with the winged woman and cross. Nearly halfway through the book was a crystal ball, held by an old woman. Behind her were two panels, one of a war and one of the battlefield strewn with bodies and coated in blood. There were no more recognizable depictions in the tome as Lavi flipped to the end, and he carefully closed the book and set it aside before pulling the next one towards himself. His results were very much the same, going through picture upon picture, depictions of art flowing outwards from a brush to become tangible things and a child with a series of bells hanging from his belt. Working his way into a frenzy, the Exorcist pulled the remaining volumes of the set towards himself and then set them all on the floor next to the table. Then he pulled _'Mercy Upon the Outcasts of Heaven'_ towards himself and carefully opened it to a page well within the book.

From the pages he faced leered an almost human creature, stylized far beyond what it was originally but still a dangerous dark red with a mouth full of sharp teeth… A Level Three. More turned pages revealed Level Twos shaped like dragons and several as darkly colored knights. It dawned on the junior Bookman, as he carefully closed the thick book, that if the topic of the books followed the same vein then _'The Battle of Sir Abelerd and the Demons' _would be a chronicled account of an early Exorcist. With careful motions the teen picked up the three books and set them with the others before standing and taking one book off of the top of the tallest stack.

It was a plain thing, tied shut with a leather strap and bound with the same material. There was no embossing on the cover, no gold leaf anywhere, just a floppy brown leather binding. With the careful hands of someone who knew how to handle a book so aged, Lavi opened the tied leather strap holding it shut. The cover nearly groaned as it was opened, the pages revealed yellowed with age and the ink inside scrawling across the page in uniform black lines that were simple to read. This time, as his eye widened and his grip went lax, Lavi really did drop the book. It hit the table, making a hollow sound as it impacted and fell open towards the middle.

_Third day of the fifth month of 1238 in the Calendar of Saints. Demon attacks have escalated from once or twice within a month period to thrice the number within one week. As of noontide of this day, the demons do make their presence noted as actively seeking the artifact within these walls. Heavy casualties were sustained this day to the men guarding, though the exact number is not yet known. The master of this castle, Sir Gregory, did send summons exactly three days ago towards Rome with hopes of acquisitioning a man of Priestly nature that would expel these demons in the manner of an Exorcism. _

"A… A log. All of these." Lavi shut the worn leather book, carefully tying it shut once more before beginning the careful moving of every one of the books into a manageable pile. He had moved several when a stack of three slipped from his grasp and hit the table with a hollow thunk that echoed through the room. The redhead paused, then knocked on the table. It made a hollow noise that echoed loudly, and he furrowed his brow as he contemplated what it could be that was doing that. Finally giving up, Lavi quickly moved the remaining books from the top of the table and grabbed the musty black fabric with both hands. With a sudden wrenching motion the air was filled with dust and the cloth was thrown to the side, revealing a smooth crystalline surface.

The Crystal Coffin looked so unassuming in the drab light of the library, just a glass box long and wide enough to hold a single person. Yet it made Lavi sigh and throw the black cloth over his shoulder, and he sat down next to the coffin with a tired feeling. This was it. His job was done; he had found the Innocence and destroyed any Akuma that had put themselves in his way. But he couldn't help but feel… Angry, almost, at the innocent-looking box. People had died looking for that box; Lenalee had died looking for it. But the mission was finished now, and all he needed was to find either his golem or Lenalee's and report back to the Order.

With a nearly sardonic attitude, the redhead leaned back against the Crystal Coffin and closed his one eye in thought. Was there a real reason why he hadn't thought to contact the Order before this? Some mad hope, some lingering doubt? Because he was afraid of what would happen when Komui learned that he wasn't enough to protect his darling Lenalee? In his slowly calming mind, the Exorcist searched for answers. Subconsciously, he flexed his fingers inside his new gloves. He wasn't afraid. No, that wasn't it. There was nothing to fear but fear itself, he told himself, but the mantra seemed to have an adverse effect.

He had to check in eventually, if only to confirm that he was alive. But he didn't know where his Golem was and the phone box that one of the Finders had had was lying somewhere in a pile of scrap and wires rendered totally useless in a bolt of purple and a scream. With a curled lip Lavi threw one hand to the side and knocked a few of the ancient books over. One of them flopped open, the script perfect in every way despite being handwritten. The redhead paused, noting the illumination on the page. It depicted a blond woman in what appeared to be the Crystal Coffin. In an instant the book was in his hand, drifting dust from the age-old pages.

_Thusly, the Lady Adalgisa did succumb to weakness and the demon's disease, and her golden mantle ne'er did shine quite as lustr'sly. Those around her did weep bitterly as her beauteous skin be smattered with deadly black pentacles. Yet the brave Sir Abelerd, his demon-slaying sword so forgotten in his haste, took up her body in his arms and did bring her to the coffin. The lid did open and her darkened body be placed inside. Then he did stay to one side and close the lid, and chains did spring from the floor and wrap the coffin in their holy light. However, whence the light had faded the chains rusted into their places upon the coffin and stayed most tight. Within her newly-acquired crystal prison the Lady Adalgisa did weep and scream in a most horrendous fashion, spurred to madness much li-_

Lavi paused his reading, shooting a glance at the Crystal Coffin behind him. The page he had turned to so as to continue his reading was spattered with copious amounts of darkened red, the ink beneath running towards the spine of the book in a long-since-dried sludge that made the pages seem to stick. Carefully, he closed the book and set it aside before grabbing one of the books chronicling the Innocence from beside himself. Carefully the book was opened to reveal an insert carefully added, the paper quite unlike the rest of the book. It seemed as though it had been torn from a scroll at some point, the rice paper's edges ripped but somewhat-carefully repaired. In the corner was a carefully depicted samurai doing battle with twin swords, one made of light.

The redhead couldn't help but crack a grin at the stolen and added page before carefully turning the page to continue onward. He saw claymores and crossbows, people with claws and carefully depicted shape shifting… But the book didn't have the Crystal Coffin inside. He continued to the next book in the series, carefully watching each picture for a depiction of the Coffin. But the only Innocence he recognized inside that volume was of a man in regal dress depicted as though singing, a dome encompassing him as no one else in the depiction looked in his direction. Lavi continued on to the next volume and then the next, seeing a man in Turkish dress with wickedly-pointed teeth and another of a man surrounded by bells and wires.

It wasn't until the final volume that the redhead found the Crystal Coffin's information. The page was flecked with black blood, several tiny pentacles surrounding the splotches. The script was a faded gray, as though it had been left in the sun for far too long, but it was still quite legible to the Bookman Junior. Carefully, he began to read the precise script. It began much as the other accounts did, stating the date of discovery and the place it had been discovered, but quickly evolved into a list of people cured of ailments or brought back from the brink of death… Even of limbs being regenerated. But there was nothing about a person being brought back from the dead. He suspected that the account in _'The Battle of Sir Abelerd and the Demons'_ was only one of the Akuma poisons being reversed, not of the reversal of death itself. After all, once a person was killed by Akuma poison the body turned to a fine dust.

"Damn." The teen breathed, shutting the age-old book and carefully standing up. He closed his one green eye and sighed deeply, craning his neck back to face up at the vaulted ceiling and its very few holes. He couldn't find the answer he wanted… He had to report in. Quick searches of his pockets made the Exorcist realize that his Golem, Gubo, was no longer with him, probably lost in the battle or along the road. So it was with a heavy heart that the teen began his trek back to the castle's main hall and Lenalee, and somewhere in one of her pockets would be her own Golem.

As he walked, he wondered what he would say. He couldn't say everything was fine, no, because everything was certainly _not_ fine. Fine would be everyone alive, which they certainly were not. One turn, two, each door much like the rest in being broken down with boot prints on the rotting wood. Before Lavi knew it he was back in the first hall, sunlight coming through the hole in the roof and lighting up the puddle in the center of the floor that the rain had made. Lenalee was where he had left her, the tapestry still draped across her form as though it was a blanket and she was only sleeping.

"Hey, Rindy. You still in her pocket?" At the Exorcist's question the breast pocket of Lenalee's uniform began twitching back and forth before it opened itself and a small black Golem with a single eye crawled out and unfurled its wings. But it didn't flit to Lavi like it should have; instead it flitted to Lenalee's head and nuzzled her forehead while making whining noises. "Yeah, I don't like it any more than you do. C'mere Rindy, I have to call Headquarters." But Rindy hissed at the redhead and curled up in Lenalee's hair, closing its eye and wrapping its wings around itself. Lavi gave a small sad smile, and carefully reached down with one gloved hand and picked the golem up. It struggled angrily, hissing and growling at its Exorcist captor, but didn't get free.

"Open channel four-two-alpha-delta-delta." The Golem stopped struggling and began to emit a steady dial tone, its one eye open to unblinking. "Connect to Headquarters, authorization code L-three-three-seven-pound-omega." The connection fuzzed for a moment before ringing once, twice, three times in succession. Just as the answering machine was about to start up, which would mean that Komui was either asleep or dead, the line picked up.

"This is Komui…" The Supervisor's voice sounded like he had just woken up, which was probably the case.

"This is Lavi, I'm reporting in from the Black Forest." If he hadn't expected it from himself, the redhead would have been surprised at the lack of emotion in his voice. "I've found the Crystal Coffin, as well as several manuscripts pertaining to the Innocence."

"Good job, Lavi-" the Supervisor's voice was punctuated by a yawn. "There a reason why you missed your check-in time?"

"Our group was attacked by a large group of Akuma, all Level Two and above… And they were led by Tyki Mikk." A crash sounded on the other end of the line, and judging by the swearing the Supervisor had probably managed to break his coffee cup and spill coffee onto his lap.

"Lenalee!" Komui's voice was urgent, "is Lenalee alright?" For a moment, Lavi felt like lying. Like saying that everything was alright, that _no_, he _wasn't _standing next to her body. That the two of them would be coming back safe and sound and the only people that died were the Finders, not that their deaths weren't regrettable as well. "Lavi! Let me talk to her!"

"There… There were casualties." Those simple words were enough to make the Junior Bookman want to find a dark corner and sink into it, to hug his knees and forget the world, to forget everything he had seen.

"Casualties… No!" His green gaze cast downward, Lavi closed his hand over the speaker on the Golem. His dark red armored glove muffled the sound, but not completely. "Lavi?! _Lavi_!"

"Close transmission." The Exorcist ordered, and Komui's voice cut off into static. Immediately Rindy began to struggle to get free, the Golem's wings flapping as hard as they could. Lavi let the Golem go and it hissed at him once more, before flitting back to Lenalee with all the speed it could muster. Silently, the redhead sunk to the ground and sat.

"What am I gonna do, Rindy?" He asked, resting one elbow on one knee and putting his head in his hand. "I don't think the Coffin can bring her back." That's what he had brought her all this way for, wasn't it? Some mad hope? He was an _Exorcist_, damn it, he knew better than to trust the words of a Noah. But… No. What if… No. "I've been able to accept death before." Lavi tried his best to assure… Who? Himself? But that wasn't right. He knew this already, that death was final. But the Earl could bring people back, bring anyone back… "No!" The redhead grasped his head in both hands, angry. "I won't subject her to that!"

Then it seemed to come to him, bit by bit, like an old memory locked away by childhood. The Earl wouldn't send so many Akuma, a Noah, just to destroy a coffin that healed. The coffin posed a threat to the Earl's power… To the Earl's market of souls. He was _blind_! The answer really was in front of him the whole time! Was he really so stupid as to not see it? He was Bookman Junior, he should have drawn that conclusion immediately!

"Rindy, how much time do you think I have before Komui gets the Ark open?" Lavi asked, pulling himself to his feet. A growl and then a sharp pain on his arm was his answer as a dozen or so little pointed teeth gnawed at his muddy sleeve. "I figured." With extreme care, the Exorcist reached out and picked up Lenalee's still form. The tapestry he had pulled down fell limply to the floor, making a cloud of dust rise into the air. By the time it settled the redhead was gone down the hall.

His footsteps echoed down the empty hallways as he passed them, his hammer banging against his knee until it shrunk to a tiny size that could do no more damage. His one eye was focused solely on the task ahead, solely focused on bringing Lenalee to the Crystal Coffin. Her blue lips and ashen complexion didn't faze him any longer, not to the point of disbelief and mistakes.

Stepping over the pile of ash that had once been the heavy locked door of the library, Lavi reaffirmed his grip on his comrade's body. Leaves and old acorns crunched under the soles of his boots as he made his way across the library that housed the Crystal Coffin, before finally coming to a stop next to the unassuming crystal construct.

"I'm sorry, Lenalee." The Exorcist said, looking down at the girl in his arms. "I'm sorry, but I care too much. Everyone cares too much. If we lost you, it would be like losing a part of our hearts." With one foot, the redhead nudged the crystal Coffin open. The lid fell backwards on clear hinges with a clunk, and Lenalee's body was placed inside. "I hope you can forgive me, if this hurts you."

Lavi picked up the lid in one hand and went to close it, but paused. He reached his free hand into his pants pocket and withdrew the tiny green light that was Lenalee's Innocence, and looked at it for a moment. The warm glow was oddly comforting, but it looked as though it yearned for something, anything to attach to. Quickly, the redhead placed the little light inside the coffin with his comrade. Then the lid was shut, and Lavi stood up.

At first nothing seemed to happen. The coffin simply sat there, its crystal walls making prisms appear on Lenalee's pale skin. Suddenly it erupted into light so bright that the redheaded Exorcist had to look away and grasp at the side of a nearby bookshelf to stay on his feet. Chains burst from the floor and wrapped themselves around the coffin in a cacophony of clinking and rattling. They bound the lid tightly and then quickly began to rust, growing dangerous-looking spikes and sharp edges. A scream rent the air, shrill and heartbreaking like the shattering of glass.

"Lenalee!" The glow suddenly faded, as though someone had simply hit a switch. Lavi spun around, his hand going to the small hammer hanging from his wrist in a habitual movement. But there was no monster unleashed, no war machine bearing down upon him with a sorrowful gaze. There was, however, blood. It was pooling in the bottom of the coffin around Lenalee's feet and soaking through her stockings. Before the redhead could move, though, it suddenly flashed with a red light and drew up into the form of the girl's boots. The screaming began again, and Lavi was next to coffin in a heartbeat with his hands around one of the chains. But they refused to budge, and only rust flakes came off in his hands. Pounding began on the inside of the Coffin, only to stop.

In a jarring crash, the Crystal Coffin blew apart. Lavi was thrown backwards to impact the stone wall with bone-rattling force. But shards of Crystal didn't pepper the ground; they hovered for a moment before falling and lumping together. The chains, however, broke free of the stone floor as the figure inside pulled at them.

"Lenalee!" Lavi stood, his hammer once again a manageable size in his hand. His guard was down, however, and books went flying as the chain-wrapped girl jumped forward and barreled into him. The two of them punched through the old stone wall and the redhead was thrown down the hall. Again he stood, wiping a trickle of blood off his chin with the back of his hand.

"This is your fault!" Lavi froze, his green eye widening. Again Lenalee barreled forward, whipping around to kick him down another hall. He hit a wall and bounced off, falling to his hands and knees. One of the chains fell from his comrade's shoulders, hitting the ground in a cloud of reddish orange dust. "All your fault!"

"I-" Lavi coughed, he felt a terrible pain in his chest. One or more of his ribs were probably broken. "I tried to save you!"

"But you brought me _back_!" Another kick and he flew through another wall and out into the open air. Lenalee was close behind, a broken chain flying away from her and impacting a tree as she rocketed outward and then aimed a sudden kick towards the redhead on the ground. He rolled out of the way, only to be thrown several feet by the force created when she impacted the ground. This time, however, the Exorcist was ready and rolled to his feet and brandished his hammer.

"I couldn't protect you." He admitted, watching carefully as Lenalee turned to look at him. Her eyes looked panicked, but held a terrible sorrow. "So I tried to undo what I had done. If we all lost you, then I would never forgive myself."

"Did you have to do _this_ to me?" With a scream, more chains were shed and a powerful axe-kick was delivered to the guarding handle of Tessei. The dark red material didn't give even the slightest as Lenalee's Dark Boots continued to push. "You should have known better!"

"I'm not going to fight you!" Lavi yelled, trying to drown out her cries. The only chains left were the ones wrapped around her arms and legs and one around her neck, making fresh cuts and bruised on her pale skin.

"What did he tell you? How did he convince you!?" She demanded, tears falling from her dark eyes as she spun around and landed a kick to her comrade's side. He broke through the tree cover and rolled across the open walkway to the front door of the castle. This time it took much longer for him to struggle to his feet, but by then Lenalee had already alighted in front of him in a spray of broken stone and dirt. She went to deliver another kick to his side, but in a simple movement Tessei was blocking the blow. Lavi reached forward and grabbed her chained wrists, bringing them up in front of her face.

"I didn't ask the Earl to bring you back." The redhead said, running his thumbs over her wrists. It felt good to have her there; it was an almost indescribable feeling of elation to feel a pulse going through her veins. "I was mourning, but I was thinking straight enough that if he ever made me an offer I would refuse. I couldn't do that to you."

"I- I died, though." Lenalee blinked, large tears leaking out of her eyes and trailing down to soak the collar of her red and black uniform. "I remember… I saw the other side." Further down the path, a large digital number lit up in the air. Around it, a series of shapes began to form.

"You're not an Akuma." With a sob, Lenalee collapsed forward onto her comrade. He pulled the chains from her wrists and neck and dropped them to the ground with a mighty noise, then wrapped his arms around her. "I would never do that to you."

"I'm so sorry!" She said, fisting her hands in his ruined uniform. "I'm sorry I hurt you… I don't know what came over me." Again she sobbed, and Lavi held her tightly and wouldn't have let go for the world.

"_Lenalee_!" The Ark opened with a flash, and Komui ran out. He was followed by medics, then by at least a dozen Finders, then Generals Cloud Nine and Froi Tiedoll. Lenalee choked back a sob and turned to look at her brother, her knuckles white in Lavi's uniform and all her weight leaning against him. In a flash of red her Dark Boots were reduced to anklets again, exposing her stocking feet to the dirty cobblestones.

"Komui!" She smiled widely, fresh tears streaming down her face and soaking her comrade's already-dirty uniform. Carefully, unsure if he should, Lavi let her go. Lenalee pushed herself to stand on her own feet, and held her arms out for the hug her brother gave her. Lavi smiled at the scene at first, but his smile quickly turned to a grimace as he clutched at his side. Oh yeah, he had broken ribs.

"Medic!" He yelled out, grabbing Tessei's handle in one hand and holding his side with the other. A few of the medics and several Finders rushed to him, carefully helping him towards a stretcher that had been brought through the Ark. A nurse with a stern expression sat him down and broke out the bandages, crossing her arms and glaring at him as he continued to stare in Lenalee's direction.

Komui held her and refused to let go. The ground was cold against her stocking feet, and if she hadn't been crying so hard and sniffling into her brother's shoulder she would have wondered where her shoes had gone.

"I thought I had lost you." Her brother said, biting his lip and trying not to cry. Lenalee's tearstained smile widened as she held her brother closer.

"But you didn't." She said, giggling slightly as she watched over Komui's shoulder as Lavi got smacked on the head by the Matron for not letting her dress his wounds. "And that's okay."

* * *

**Oh good lord. I didn't make you cringe too badly at the terrible and rather forced quality of this chapter, did I? No matter, next chapter will come along eventually.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Smile Like Broken Glass**

_Lt. Commander Richie_

**Disclaimer: **Don't own it, even though a few people have jokingly called me Hoshino because I can accurately predict the manga plot devices.

_Chapter 3

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_

The library, which had once held a sort of mystery and warmth, was now cold and calculating. It was as though every spine of every book, every shelf of every bookcase, was turned against him. Across from him, Bookman sat with his pipe clenched between his teeth and the metal finger caps of his Innocence in a pile on the table in front of him. The cold steel reflected the little natural light that came into the library, glinting dully and inconspicuously.

"You understand what this means, don't you?" Of course he knew what it meant. It meant that the black cloak with white stripes on it he currently wore around his shoulders would be his best friend besides history books until they decided to join another war. Another side. Another way of life. He pulled his armored red gloves from his hands and sat them on the table, then took Tessei from its place hanging from his wrist like a charm on a bracelet and dropped that on the table as well. Next to Bookman's Innocence, next to the silver of Heaven's Compass, the dark and bloody red of the newly-evolved hammer looked sinister. Like it knew what it had done was the reason for all this. Why he had to leave the Black Order, and why he could never look back.

"Where will we be going?" There were so many wars being fought right now, so many places to go. "Burma? Britain is engaged in a conflict there."

"We will be going to France." Lavi's one eye widened slightly. This was an unexpected move. For so long he had been going to the centers of wars, to the centers of loss and tragedy that it was just second nature for him to assume that he would be shipped off once more to fight. "And we will watch President Louis-Napoleon Bonaparte's political campaign as he will most likely follow in his father's footsteps."

"Well that's kinda boring." The redhead leaned back and ran a bare hand through his hair, all tied back messily with a new headband. Bookman gave it a disapproving look, but remained silent otherwise. Who was he to argue the need for a practical article of clothing, after all.

"We're really going." And Lavi knew he meant it. There was something disheartening about seeing the old man sitting across from him pull his even older hat from his pocket and slide it over what hair he had. He was all wrapped up in his old green cloak, the edges tattered and frayed from years upon years of use. "You knew this was only temporary."

"Yeah. I've just grown a bit accustomed is all." How he wanted to pick that hammer back up. He wanted to take his hammer and his gloves and make a break for it, to go hide where nobody could find him and stay with his friends. But he couldn't. He had thrown away his original life to be Bookman Jr., and he wasn't about to destroy the life he had worked so hard at perfecting. It would only take a little time, he reasoned, to return to the swing of only watching. To the exciting monotony of never interfering, only recording.

The light reflecting from Heaven's Compass slowly faded as the two Bookmen sat in silence, the library around them offering little to no comfort to the younger one as he drew his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. His fingers were cold without the comforting dull feel of metal around them, but he didn't reach for his gloves or make to get up to get a different pair from his room just down the hall. They sat in silence, watching the glint of natural light on the finger caps get weaker and weaker until it was gone altogether.

"Bayard." At first, it didn't register in the redhead's mind that Bookman had even spoken. "Bayard!" Lavi looked up, a sad half-smile on his face as his legs unfolded from his chest with the tingle of blood rushing back through them. "We're leaving."

"Got it, Gramps. Lemme go get my stuff. I'll meet you at the door." Bookman Jr., no longer really Lavi, stood. His dark blue duster fell about his knees as he walked out of the library, leaving his Innocence on the table. Leaving his life behind.

Idly, the redhead realized that he had just turned fifty. As he opened the door to his room for what really would be the last time, he chuckled to himself. His carpetbag was already on his bed, several books and a few fountain pens in the bottom. A comb and a different pair of earrings sat with them, and hastily the teen pulled clothes up off the floor and smelled them to gauge their freshness before stuffing them in the bag haphazardly.

His bare fingers met leather, and he paused before picking the coat up and holding it out at arm's length. His uniform from the fiasco with Japan, or at least what was left of it. Bookman Jr. threw the coat over his shoulder and continued to stuff his bag while making as little noise as possible so as to not wake the people in the rooms around him. Lavi smiled at the coat, then draped it over the back of a chair. In reality, it was more of a little of both. There was no smile, and the coat was thrown, albeit carefully, to drape over the back of the desk chair.

His bag stuffed, the redhead slung it over his shoulder and went to turn out the lights. He paused, though, at his bedside table as he was about to pull the cord on his lamp. In a frame was a group picture that seemed too old to be true. Lenalee's hair was still long, Allen had his warped red hand, Yuu's Mugen was still the guardless black stick it had been until only just recently... Bookman Jr. walked right of the room, pulling the lamp cord before he closed the door. Lavi sat his carpetbag down, pulled the picture from the frame, folded it up and hid it under his headband.

The halls were cold and dark in the Order's new headquarters. Then again, it was England. Most everything was dark and cold on the miserable spit of land. A few electric lights graced the ceiling of the hallway, but they only provided a minor comfort against the dark, and the cold, and the biting sense that maybe, just _maybe _if Lavi ever saw his friends again they would never forgive him for this. At the spot where the hallway bled out into the main cathedral of the Order, the redhead looked up at the massive gold Rose Cross that adorned the wall.

"Sorry..." He muttered, otherwise emotionless save for the slightest of trembles in his voice. "Sorry I didn't say goodbye to anyone." If he could have written a note, he would have. But he couldn't, not without Bookman knowing. "I've gotta go now, though. Hope you don't hate me too much." They would find his and Gramps' Innocence in the library tomorrow, abandoned like an unwanted trinket or pet. Lavi scratched at the blackened crosses on his wrists, relieving the itch that had begun to blossom there over the past few minutes. Sighing, he continued on his way.

"Allen... I won't be there to watch your back any longer." As he walked, the redhead began to muse to himself. "Yuu might do it, but just because there'll be one less of us." He turned a corner, his eye downcast as he watched the black and white diamond pattern of the floor go by. "Kuro-chan, you're a great Exorcist. You too, Miranda." He continued to talk to himself as he turned the final corner, looking up at the large front doors of the Order with his eye clouded over. He blinked, and something slid down his cheek. Bookman Jr. wiped the tear away with one hand, then wiped his hand on his pants before continuing onward. Lavi paused, throwing a look over his shoulder down the hallway he had just come from. He let the tear drip down onto the rough black wool of his cloak, then looked back at the front doors. Again he scratched at the itch in the crosses on his wrists, but it was more persistent that time.

"This is all the Innocence's fault." Now he truly believed it when Lenalee had said that the Innocence, mankind's only hope against the Earl, only created suffering. Because of his weapon's evolution he had to leave the first life he had truly loved. He was supposed to be ready for this, ready to leave as soon as Bookman gave the word, but to him it only seemed horribly wrong to leave his friends in the dead of night without so much as a note. Again the itch appeared in the redhead's wrists, but this time it was accompanied by a burning. Lavi itched it, but it came back. He gave up after a while of sitting and itching in the silence, waiting for Bookman to come.

It was only natural that his mind began to wander, going over every page after page of the guides to the Innocence that he had discovered in the ancient library in the Black Forest of Germany. _'On the Weapons of God Upon Earth'_ went slowly through his mind, each page read individually as he tried desperately to ignore the itching and burning radiating outwards from his wrists. After twenty or so minutes of nothing but silence, though, the teen began to wonder just how long it would be before Bookman came.

"How long do you plan on sitting there, Bayard?" Lavi jumped, his carpetbag falling to the floor with a dull thunk as Bookman walked up next to him. The old man carried his own bag over his shoulder, his pipe still clenched between his teeth and reeking of tobacco.

"Until we have to leave." The redhead retorted, standing up and picking up his carpetbag before slinging it over his shoulder with a heave. His wrist brushed against the scratchy black and white wool of his cloak, and the itch returned full-force. He began to scratch it as Bookman pushed the order's front door open, but something occurred to the former Exorcist just as a loud creak rent the air. His one green eye widened in horror, and he froze in his place. Bookman continued on his way, but then paused as he realized his apprentice wasn't behind him.

"You're coming. This isn't optional." The old man turned to look at the teen with a level glare, but Lavi didn't return it.

"Gramps, I'm betraying the Order." He had never really pondered the idea that an Equipment-type user could leave behind their Innocence, but now that he was a Crystal type... Would the results be the same as a parasite-type? "I'm leaving behind my Innocence."

"That's the point, yes." Bookman looked fed up with his apprentice, but didn't voice any other opinion on the subject. Lavi dropped his carpetbag at his feet and showed the old man his wrists, red from his constant scratching. The old man furrowed his brow, unsure as to what the teen was getting at.

"Suman Dark did the same thing." Bookman's eyes widened. He hadn't thought of the consequences of their actions, of what happened when an Exorcist forsook their Innocence. The old man looked torn, unsure as to how to proceed. "He was a Parasite-type, and I'm a Crystal-type. They behave almost the same way... Will the results be the same?"

"I don't know. You and miss Lena are the only two Crystal-types so far. The consequences of leaving behind your Innocence cannot be forseen." Lavi's hands clenched into fists, and the deepest scratches his short fingernails had inflicted on his wrists began to bleed just the tiniest bit. This wasn't just sitting on a hill and watching two sides fire cannons at each other, or watching from the snow-covered treetops as people were slaughtered, no. This was _his _life, not just another page in a history book!

"I don't want to become a Fallen One, Gramps!" Though he hadn't meant to yell, Lavi's voice echoed through the Order's headquarters. Bookman's gaze lowered to the ground, and he turned back to the open front door.

"You do not exist. Not in the recorded sense. In the end you will be forgotten, just like I will. Your Innocence isn't a true part of you. The actual fragment is inside your hammer. You'll be fine." The Bookman's solemn statement was accompanied only by the soft sound of his shoes as she walked out the front door. Lavi closed his eye and sighed, then picked his carpetbag back up from the floor and began walking out the door. The itching and burning in his wrists only got worse the farther away he got, but he bit his lip as she walked out onto the London sidewalk and looked up at the sky.

This really was goodbye.

"...Lavi?" Both Bookmen stiffened, but neither of them turned. Lavi's yell had woken someone... And it certainly wasn't someone that he wanted woken. Not to see him leave. He didn't want to say goodbye. The two continued walking, but the redhead could hear the soft sound of bare feet on cobblestones as she ran to the front gate that they had already passed through. Bookman waved down a carriage whose driver was half-asleep and the horses were leaning against each other for support as they too nodded off, and the feet stopped. "Lavi!"

The street was utterly silent besides the hushed voices of Bookman and the carriage driver. Neither teen spoke, and the street lamps flickered woefully low as a chill wind swept down the street.

"Lavi... Where are you going?" Lenalee sounded terribly, horribly hurt as she spoke, but the redhead refrained from turning around. From running back to her and holding her close and probably giving her his shoes because she had forgotten her slippers in her room. From telling her that everything was alright and that he and Bookman were just going on a mission, and that they'd be back soon, don't you worry your pretty head over it. Bookman climbed up into the carriage, but Lavi still stood on the sidewalk.

"Bayard!" Bookman snapped, and the redhead looked up at the carriage before throwing his carpetbag in the open door and pulling himself up onto the step to get inside. A muffled sob came from behind the teen, and he stopped again. Bookman looked far too tired for his own good, but said nothing.

"Lavi-" Lenalee began, her words broken by sobs. "The whole Order is part of my heart." Lavi closed his eye and tilted his head upward, still holding on to the luggage rack above the carriage but not getting in. This was the last time he would ever get to hear her. Not unless someday they crossed paths, he would never know the sound of Lenalee Lee's voice again. "Lavi! You're _breaking_ it! You're breaking my heart!"

The redhead opened his green eye and gave a halfhearted apologetic smile to Bookman, before letting go of the luggage rack and jumping back down to the cobblestones. He turned, intent on giving the apology he hoped he would never have to, but instead stopped short.

Lenalee stood in a spot of light created by the second street lamp from the corner that he stood on, tears running down her cheeks and making spots on her white nightgown. Her feet were bare, and the red anklets she wore clicked just barely together as she stood clutching herself against the cold. She looked like she had been expecting this day for a very long time... It just didn't seem like she had really realized how badly it would impact her.

"I have to go." Lavi took a step forward, away from the carriage, and opened his arms in a gesture of surrender. "My time as Lavi is over." He took another step, and then another until he stood under the first street lamp from the corner. "Lenalee... I'm sorry. I should've written a note, should've woke you and told you. But any way I could have done it, this was easier on me."

"What about the Order?" Her voice was accusing, and it made Lavi cast his gaze downward and drop his arms to his sides. "What about your _friends_?" It hurt to hear that level of anger in her voice, to have it directed at him was even worse.

"I'm Bookman Jr., I don't have any friends. Lavi, as he was, had friends. I'm not allowed to interfere." Lenalee tried and failed to choke back a sob, and buried her face into her hands. "Now I'm sorry miss Lena, but I have to go." It hurt so much, _so _much to say that to her. To cut a bond of friendship that had lasted for years with one swift and terrible blow. In the yellow light of the street lamp, Bookman Jr. turned to leave.

Before he had gotten more that a few steps, the sound of running feet reached the redhead's ears. He turned, but just barely fast enough to catch the slight girl that barreled into him and nearly sent him sprawling backwards. His broken ribs from the fight with Tyki moaned in protest, but the burn of his arms and the feel of the girl in them drowned it out. She held on tightly to the front of his cloak, her knuckles white in the barely-there light as she sobbed into his chest. Bookman Jr. pushed her away and continued back to the carriage.

Lavi wrapped his arms around her and held her close, his forehead resting on the top of her head as she continued to cry. She smelled lightly of flowers and tears.

"You said that-" she began, sobs still punctuating her words. "That you weren't al-allowed to interfere." The redhead leaned his head back so that Lenalee could look up at him. Her eyes were puffy and red, and the violet orbs were painted a dull shade with sadness. "Then... Then why did you bring me back?"

At first, the redhead didn't answer. He had hoped that it would never come to this, but he was loathe to even so much as let Lenalee go for fear that she would be gone. Just like Lavi. Just like all his other attachments. "Because..." He finally began after a silence long enough that the girl in his arms had begun to wonder if she would ever get an answer. "Because that was Lavi."

"Then be Lavi for me. Just for a little longer." Her answer was immediate, and Bookman Jr. couldn't help but give her a slight smile. Nothing too terrible, only an upturn of one corner of his mouth. But it was a start.

"Impulsive, cheerful and aloof? I guess I can do that." And he forced the sparkle he usually had into his visible eye and gave the girl in his arms a dazzling cocky grin that spoke of easier times and weaker Akuma. She smiled up at him, but now that she knew it was only a facade it seemed like her smile was lacking in some way.

"Lavi." His grin faded, and he cocked his head to one side as he looked at Lenalee. "If you can't interfere, why did you bring me back?" That question again. That ruthless, horrible question that Lavi knew the answer to but hell if he was going to tell her. Hell if he was going to tell anyone except himself. Hell if he would even _admit_ it to himself. But this would be the last time he could ever be Lavi, could ever really talk to Lenalee like they had been friends for so long. Really talk to her like she was the girl he had fallen in love with somewhere along the way, even if he didn't know when, how or even when he had come to terms with it.

And he decided, as Lavi, that he would end his forty-ninth life with a bang.

"I brought you back..." The redhead began, one hand moving from the girl's back to her cheek, "because at some point in the three years I've lived as Lavi, I fell in love with you. And people in love do crazy stuff, even when they're not allowed to."

And he kissed her. She tasted like tears and mint toothpaste, but he was way past caring. Even if Komui caught him, he wouldn't have stopped for all the Komurins and assault missiles in the Order. Her lips were soft and everything about her was driving him up the wall. He pulled her closer, bare fingers entwining in her hair before he realized just what the hell he was doing. Then he let her go, stepping away and sorely missing the contact he had had for that little amount of time.

"I'm sorry." Her fingers were on her lips, brushing them gently as though she didn't know quite what to make of what had happened. "I shouldn't have done that." Lavi tried to fake a smile, and he supposed that it turned out okay. "Hell of a goodbye though, huh?" And he turned his back to her, and started back towards the carriage that only held the promise of a future as Bayard, a future of watching from the background as one of the sons of Napoleon made his bid for power. He told himself he liked the prospect, maybe even loved it. But probably not as much as he loved the girl he was leaving behind. It was a pity it had taken her death before he realized that that was how he felt.

"Lavi... Bookman Jr.?" The redhead paused, one hand up on the carriage and one foot on the step up. He knew he shouldn't have, but he simply couldn't help himself. He looked back, back at the girl he would be leaving behind. Tears were falling from her eyes and she was hugging herself against the cold again. But she wore a smile on her face like he had never seen before. It was full of sorrow, terribly masked behind faux happiness. She had never been very good at hiding her sadness, at least not to him. But that smile, _that _smile was like broken glass to his insides that cut at the heart he had painstakingly grown and tried to hide for the past three years.

"Yeah?" He asked, even though he knew he shouldn't. Even though he, Bookman, Bookman Jr. and every other person on this street corner knew he was just stalling. The carriage driver was falling asleep again. Bookman Jr. got in the carriage and didn't look back. Lavi stayed and listened.

"Do what you have to do. Maybe..." The girl paused, and her smile really lit up again. It was with hope, with happiness and joy. "Maybe someday I'll see you again!" And somehow, this smile hurt more than her broken glass smile full of thinly-masked sorrow.

"Sorry miss Lena... I don't think so." He offered her a smile, but it was bittersweet. The breath she drew in was shaky, and her arms fell to her sides in what seemed like defeat. She sunk to her soles from her toes, no longer caring that the cobblestone sidewalk was terribly and horribly cold on her bare feet. The broken glass smile was back again, cutting at the redhead on the inside and making him feel even worse than he had before. It seemed almost as though if he left, he would be hurting her worse than dying had. In a way, that made what little heart Lavi had left intact break. He turned back to the carriage, and met Bookman's heavy-lidded eyes with his own green one. This was really goodbye. No more Exorcist duties, no matter how terrible the situation would ever become.

"Stop calling me that, Lavi. You haven't called me that for a long time, and you shouldn't start now." Lenalee sounded heartbroken, much like she had when he had first met her. Like she had after the deaths of her teammates, after the deaths of her friends and of almost half her surrogate family that was the Order. He knew what this was doing to her, and it was better for him if he didn't look back. Bookman Jr. got in the carriage and didn't look back. Lavi, though he was supposed to be dead and gone, gave Bookman a terrible, terrible smile and looked back at her again.

"My name is Bayard now." He knew he was bringing all this hurt onto himself, with every look, every tear that she shed that he watched. But it was like he deserved it, like he deserved the burn in his arms and the hurt he felt as he watched Lenalee look at him with so much sorrow in her eyes.

"Please don't go. Lavi." She bit her lower lip, her fingers brushing across both as she looked to the ground for a moment. "You brought me back because nobody would be the same without me. I can't let you leave!" She looked back up, her fingers still splayed across her lips. "We wouldn't be the same. _I _wouldn't be the same!"

Bookman Jr. turned and got in the carriage. Bayard did the same. Lavi turned, closing his visible eye as he bit his lip and tried not to do anything too rash. But he didn't move.

"Sorry Lenalee. My time as Lavi is up, I've told you that." However, while he seemed to be finished he couldn't bring himself to get in that carriage. The driver was asleep again and the horses were nickering softly in their sleep. The street lamps were the only light besides the stars and the few windows still lit on the street. The pattering of feet reached the redhead's ears, and he turned around just in time to be pulled down from the carriage and into the arms of the girl he was trying so hard to forget. She held him tightly, unwilling to let go as she buried her face into his shoulder.

"I don't want it to be! You're breaking apart my family, Lavi. You're breaking apart my _heart_." And she let him go just long enough to grab his face in both hands and bring his lips to hers. Her fingers laced into his hair in a desperate bid to keep him there, and she stepped closer in an effort to get him to do something, _anything._ She still tasted like tears and mint, but now the kiss was tinted with desperation as she tried furiously to get him to just _stay_.

Lavi couldn't think. His mind reeled as he attempted to come to terms with what exactly was happening. Lenalee was kissing him. Lenalee was _kissing _him. _Lenalee _was kissing _him_. At some point he managed to respond, his arms coming up to wrap around the girl that was trying with all her might to keep him with her. His kiss quickly became just as aggressive as hers, one hand coming up to run his fingers into her hair and grasp tightly. With the other he clutched her closer, reveling in the touch he thought he would never have. Somewhere in all the madness his leg ended up between hers, and her fingernails scratched along the back of his neck.

Behind them, Bookman sighed. He stood from his seat in the carriage, and grabbed his apprentice's carpetbag. The old man opened the opposite door of the carriage, and he threw it out onto the street. It bounced once, rolled a little way, and then came to a stop. He closed the door, and then carefully closed the other one before knocking on the grate next to the driver. He started awake and snapped the reigns, and the horses clopped forward and left the two teens on the street corner.

In between the scratches on his neck and the bare leg that was slowly beginning to wrap around one of his and the sheer desperation of her kiss, Lavi came to a realization that made what little mending his heart had done come completely undone. She didn't feel this way, not really. She had latched onto a way to get him to stay, and was using it to the best of her ability. Lavi's kiss slowed, losing all its enthusiasm fueled by pure passion. His hands in her dark hair lost their strength, sliding around to cup her face in his palms and pull her slowly away. Her lips were a swollen red that looked beautiful, _so _beautiful on her in what little light there was, a faint pink gracing her cheeks to accompany it. Carefully, her purple eyes fluttered open with a tinge of hurt in them.

"Lavi...?" Lenalee began, and the breathless pant of a name was almost enough to make the redhead want to throw away his reason for stopping and begin all over again.

"Lenalee," he began, neither of them moving besides to breathe and for her to press only a little closer to him in a way that made the Junior Bookman decidedly uncomfortable. "Do you mean it?"

Lenalee sucked her lower lip into her mouth, biting on it with her two front teeth as her eyes became downcast. A tear welled up in her eyes, and she blinked so that it rolled down her pink cheeks and was absorbed into his cloak. "I... I don't know." Her eyes were tragic as she looked back up at him, her lips slightly parted for a moment before she spoke again. "I don't know what I feel. Bu-but please, don't leave."

"I probably couldn't even if I wanted to. Not anymore." His voice was only a whisper before he brought his lips to hers again, in a kiss sweeter and more heartfelt than the two much more aggressive ones before. It still held a passion that quite frankly scared him like nothing else, but this time it was more like the slow burn of embers and less like the sudden and fearful blaze of Gōka Kaijin. Lenalee sighed into the kiss and reciprocated, one hand coming down from his hair to fist in the front of his cloak. One of his hands slid from her face down her side, savoring every curve through the white nightgown she wore before tracing the curve of her leg that was slowly making its way up his thigh and hitching it a bit higher before holding it steady. He didn't care if it was a street corner, it was the dead of night. Nobody but the alley cats and maybe a few people that were still awake at the ungodly hour would even so much as get a glimpse of them.

At this point, he didn't mind no longer traveling to new places and living new lives. He didn't mind never having a constant name. He didn't mind not turning fifty for a very, _very _long time. All that really mattered was the moment, the girl in his arms and everywhere else around him. He abandoned logic, didn't care if she wasn't really sure if this was what she wanted. All he knew was the sweet taste of his lips on her soft ones, slow and beautiful but so far from chaste that it wasn't the most dignified of things to be doing outdoors. He would cross the bridge of what she decided her feelings were about him when he got to it, but until then he would keep himself under control in an effort to not do anything too terribly rash.

"Aren't you cold?" Lavi asked, breaking the kiss slowly. Lenalee shook her head, her cheeks flushed and her hair falling gently in her face.

"Bookman left." She observed, detaching her leg from the redhead's grasp and setting her other foot on the ground. She stood on tip-toe once again because of the cold cobblestones as Lavi turned around, greeted only with the sight of his carpetbag laying forlornly alone in the middle of the street. With a sigh he walked out onto the dark cobblestones and picked it up, slinging it over his shoulder and wrapping the drawstring around his bare fingers. He turned back to the girl in the white nightgown who had gone back to wrapping her arms around herself at the sudden loss of warmth and gave her a cocky grin before walking back to her and pulling his cloak from around his shoulders and wrapping it around her.

"I don't suppose I'll ever be going now." He said, leaning down and kissing her once more, this time only on the cheek, before suddenly scooping her up into his arms. She squeaked with surprise, grasping quickly at the short hem of her nightgown to keep it from riding up too high.

"What are you-" She began, but quieted with a blush as Lavi smiled and shifted his grip so that she sat closer to his chest.

"You're not wearing any shoes and the ground is cold. I may as well do one gentlemanly thing tonight and carry you." He passed through the wrought-iron gate Lenalee had left open in her haste, careful not to hit her on anything before kicking the gate closed behind him and continuing down the front walk of the order's headquarters. The front door was open as well, and it was with the slightest trepidation that the redhead sat her down on her feet on the ground and closed that door behind him as well. He started when Lenalee put her hand in his, twining her fingers through his and tugging lightly in the direction of the residential rooms.

"Keep being chivalrous and walk me back to my room." She said, her face lighting up into a smile that was as sweet as her disposition at that moment, sweet as the last kiss they had shared. Lavi blinked, but followed her with his carpetbag slung over his shoulder. He didn't quite know how this was going to end, but if there was any sort of repeat of what had happened outside he wasn't so sure that being anywhere near her room was the greatest of ideas. Then again, deciding to stay as Lavi could be considered one of his more harebrained ideas as well. Hallways passed by in a blur of black and white, her bare feet hardly making any noise except when her careful steps made her ruby red anklets clink together. His own clomping boots sounded terribly loud in comparison, and he attempted to quiet his steps but those attempts were in vain.

Idly, the redhead wondered what this would look like to someone watching. Decidedly uncouth, he figured as they rounded the last corner. Lenalee opened her door and slowly let go of Lavi's hand, pulling his cloak from around her shoulders and offering it back. He took it with a smile, the gap between them slowly but surely closing.

"If we keep doing this, I might end up doing something decidedly unchivalrous." The redhead couldn't help but smirk at the blush that appeared on Lenalee's cheeks, and it was all the better because he had put it there.

"I don't know what my feelings are quite yet, but..." She began, biting her lip again until Lavi put a hand to her chin and teased the lip out of her teeth with his thumb.

"If you keep doing that, you'll wear a hole in your lip." The girl that he had at some point begun to hold with his free arm blushed an even deeper shade of red when he didn't remove his hand from her face.

"S-stay with me. Just tonight." The black-haired girl blushed again as the connotations of what she had said sunk in, but she quickly sobered. "I... I don't trust you not to leave." Lavi's face fell from its mischievous smirk to a sorrowful frown as she spoke, and he closed his one visible eye and looked away. "I'm sorry!" She cried, realizing what she had said.

"I understand." Lavi murmured, "I shouldn't have tried to leave without saying goodbye."

"You shouldn't leave at all!" Lenalee pulled herself from his arms with little resistance, and laid one hand over the one he still had on her face so as to lead him onto the dull black carpet of her room. She shut the door behind the both of them, the latch closing with a click as Lavi dropped his carpetbag next to her laundry hamper. Everything in her room was so... Clean. So organized and taken care of.

"What are you trying to do?" The redhead asked, reminded of the desperate kisses she had given him at first simply to get him to stay without any concern for her own feelings.

"I don't know." Lenalee muttered, squeezing his hand with her own. "I told you that I don't know what my feelings are yet..." She trailed off, once again nibbling on her lower lip. Lavi fixed her with a look, but she only stopped long enough to speak. "But I'm willing to find out." Again she chewed on her lip, and finally the redhead reached out and pulled her close, resting a hand on her face to pull her lip from her teeth.

"Stop that." He said, eying the red tooth marks with disdain. "It doesn't look good, especially not on you." Without another word, he kissed her again. And again. And again in a line across her cheek, and all down her neck until he got to the collar of her nightgown. At some point her thigh ended up halfway up his leg and in his hand again, and she ripped the headband from his forehead without even watching the folded picture he had put there flutter to the ground. She bit his ears, he bit her collarbone just behind where most of the collars of her shirts ended. Their lips locked again, and she managed, though only on one foot and with a thigh between her own two, to back Lavi into the edge of her bed and make them both fall over onto the sheets.

"What happened to decidedly unchivalrous?" Lenalee asked between pants for air as she straddled the redhead and threaded her fingers through his hairline.

"I'm Lavi, remember?" He asked, one hand making its way up her thigh and under the hem of her nightgown. "Impulsive was one of those things you wanted me to be."

* * *

**WOAH.**

**Lieksrsly. No more chapters after this, though I may have to give in to my carnal fangirl urges and write the lemon after this that begs and pleads on bended knee to please _please _be written. I've totally had to stop myself from writing one in this chapter about a grand total of... Three times today.  
**

**Now imagine WTFH Komui will do when he finds them in the morning.**

**Okay, it's three thirty in the morning and I've just now finished this. I'll write the lemon tomorrow. Maybe. Possibly _after _I write the one-shot sequel that's been plaguing me like T-virus in Raccoon City or the cancer that's killing /b/.**

**Ja ne, and don't forget to review. _Or I'll hunt you down and mount your pelts above my fireplace._  
**


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